Something Worth Missing

I miss those smiles, those feelings; the thought of never ending friendships.  Friendships built in one summer. A summer I’ll never forget.

I can’t help but sit here and smile, the smile which is slowly turning to laughter.  Now I’m full blown laughing.  I swear the people sitting to my left must think I’m a little unhinged. (“Well, ain’t that a damn shame”)  Thinking back to the day we genuinely first met… It was a barbecue; the barbecue that changed my life.  We were sat there, both me and my sister sipping on two cups of soda, too shy to mingle, so we laughed and conversed between us two.  Listening to the music and catching the vibes, slowly but surely with the help of our new found drunken cousin, our plugged up bubble of nerves began to burst.  We giggled a lot, no doubt.  However it didn’t compare to the ride home, where we were introduced to one of the funniest guys… ever.  This was the moment we met the forth accomplice to our madness.  Ill never forget that night because that was the night my eyes were opened to a new view of life. (I’m honestly trying not to be cheesy)

I remember a time shortly after, sitting in the car park below my house chatting the most !&@$ known to man, somehow leading to one of the first ‘all night’ Mc Donald’s trips. Ordering up to 10 cheese burgers at a time, which happened many times over.  It was during these times that I smiled the most, laughed the most and got to truly be myself with people that didn’t judge or ridicule me; people that had no expectations and just wanted to have fun within the company of each other.  Inseparable for a whole summer, these times and memories created friends and ‘family’ that I wanted around forever.

Friends forever?.  Wishes blown away with words and actions, personality clashes and small offenses.

There came a time that ya’ll were the sugar to my tea.  We came from different backgrounds and shared different experiences but somehow learnt something, building from each story we shared.  We’ve argued, cried and stopped talking for weeks at a time but never in a million years would I have thought the outcome would be this.  Link ups and events shadowed by palm trees and awkward silences, with the bitter linger of not talking or laughing like we used to do.

I was the shy girl.  A quiet, timid and play it safe girl.  The type to try to follow the rules and keep out of trouble.  The nice girl; make everybody smile girl… say yes girl.  Although I wasn’t an innocent girl, I tried my best to be the good girl.  With them… I grew to be a confident girl, a free spirit, a caring and loving girl.  However, like a loosened knot we’ve grown apart for one reason or another, whether good or bad.

Banking on hope and crossed fingers.  I wished things would return to the better times; my happier times.  I found myself feeling lost; knowing nothing was the same anymore and it took me a while to realize and a little while longer to come to terms with it all.  I guess we’ve all matured as people, out doing big things and striving to be the kings and queens that we ‘WILL’ be one day.  We shall ‘ALL’ achieve the goals we’ve set for ourselves.  Know that I’ll be rooting for ‘All’ of you.  I’m proud of the people you all are becoming, no matter how much we talk or don’t.

I’ll hold onto those memories for life.  No matter how far the distance between us or how little we talk; you shall remain in my heart like you did, back in those days.  The days from the summer I’ll never forget.

xoxo Kiss&Tell





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