Letter To Self

Dear, You
Hey baby girl,
I felt like you were slowly losing your way. But now… you’re taking a leap of faith and pushing yourself to do something you’ve feared for a while now.  No overthinking, no rain checks and no disbelief. This blog post will be the first of many, so I thought this would be the perfect time to write a letter to you, otherwise being me. I want to dig deep into your feelings and address somethings I’ve seen in you lately. The good and the bad.
One day you will look back at your life and see the changes you are trying so hard to make. You will see your successful, beautiful independent self, the person you look to be, and you will smile at your achievements with joy and happiness knowing you’ve worked harder than ever to be where you are. This won’t be a walk in the park baby girl! But I believe in you, more then you believe in yourself. Keep going and pushing through. I’ve got you!
I love to see your smile. Yes! That one. The one that just covered your face. I love to hear that laugh. The one that makes the world stop for a moment. The one that stops you breathing for a while and brings tears to your eyes. Yet you subconsciously take for granted this life that you’ve been given, as if time has no value, not realising a dream once dreamt can become a reality. The creative desire in your heart shines like a light on the work you display, but you don’t seem to see this, you see your faults, allowing them to overshadow your achievements putting you in a never-ending circle, a bubble if I must say, leaving your confidence belittled by your own mind as though you are not as important as the people walking the face of the planet. You disapprove, doubting everything you do, say and think. I know your starting to feel like I’m saying a lot, but it’s something that needs to be said.
No matter how much you try to tell me I’m wrong. I can see, you laugh to shade the tears you are trying so hard to hide failing to understand that your face says it all. Your actions speak louder than your words, slowly distancing yourself from people, not only the ones that make you cry but also the ones that never fail to make you smile. You fear the thought of people leaving you, so you push them away before they can. Why? Why can’t you acknowledge that there are people that love you? This assumption. This dumb suspicion which makes you incapable of believing people want to be around you and this ridiculous thought of people just putting up with your existence is mind-blowing. You’re only being shot by bullets from the barrel of your own gun. You create imaginary scenarios hurting yourself worse than anyone else can, trying to protect yourself from heartbreak. I’ll repeat it, people DO love you.
Bold and beautiful are your stripes, and you shall wear this crown with confidence and class as you go through this self-love journey. Your prettiness is not defined by what others believe is beautiful. What do you think is beautiful? You lack nothing, despite what you may think. Show them the brains the beauty and that bad-ass determination. Learn to be the woman you would like to see your daughter (That’s when you have one #NoTimeSoon#NoRush) grow up to be.
I’m sorry that I let you cry yourself to sleep countless nights, sorry that I took away your smile and put a frown on your face too many times, I’m sorry that I let peoples opinion of you affect you to the point of tears, I’m sorry that I made you overthink making feelings get the best of you and finally, this one is specifically for the heart. I sincerely apologize for my disloyalty to you. I couldn’t support you in your time of need, ripping away at whatever confidence you carried, but I can now encourage and build you stronger than you’ve ever been before because no one knows you like I do.
If you want to be successful, you’ve got to be consistent, and your dreams will come through.
Pray and keep your faith in God. He’s always by your side.
Now. Take a breath and remember who the *!#?$* you are!
Me xx

xoxo Kiss&Tell

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